Have you ever been going somewhere walking,minding you own business thinking of your mothers mukimo or chapos,whistling to your favorite song,while smiling at your self,then you saw something that stopped you on your tracks and caught your attention?Did you realize you shouldn’t be stopping and went on your way?Did whatever you saw remain in your mind for long?Did you think about it before you switched off the lights that night?.Was it the first thing you thought of when you woke up the following morning?Only if you really liked or hated what you saw would it be with you like that.
I saw something that has decided to make my heart its abode.I have tried to sweep it out,but at night when sleep fails me it comes back and sits on the couch in my heart and decides to watch t.v.When i wake up,it makes itself breakfast in my poor heart and stays there all day.Its leechy and stubborn.I often think it is sojourning to some place else,and wait for it to bid me farewell and move out leaving me a thank you note for letting it stay in my heart but it just wont go.
The visitor is a feeling.It has been living with me for months now.Its is a beautiful calming feeling.If it was a car it would be a white range rover evoque,its power train would be a 2.0-liter, direct-injection turbo four from Ford that would send 240 horsepower to the wheels via a six-speed automatic.*don’t worry,i googled that,impressive huh?* This feeling is breathtaking,it makes me light headed.It makes me think of crazy things*like baby names*.It makes me listen to mushy slow songs.It makes me want to be a better person.Its confusing too,it makes my future uncertain for a bit,it makes me vulnerable,it makes me feel like a sissy.I love to hate it,but i cant.It has taken my appetite for food and replaced it with pictures of white lilies.It has held me in captivity becoming a frenemy.
If one would choose where to place their feelings,id take out this one,put it a box lock it and throw away the key.Because as beautiful as it is, its beauty can only be fully realized when it is shared between two people.You know if the other party reciprocated this feeling id probably screw things up,therefore,I am not letting it out,ill let it continue to make me giddy,to make me tear up when i listen to Air supply out of love,to make me smile when am alone,to re-read texts the following day over analyzing them,trying to decipher if there is even a tiny bit of something from the other party.
P/s i do realize how all of this sounds-wimpy,emo vague and all but that had to get out.