Matters Of The Heart…and more

Have you ever been going somewhere walking,minding you own business thinking of your mothers mukimo or chapos,whistling to your favorite song,while smiling at your self,then you saw something that stopped you on your tracks and caught your attention?Did you realize you shouldn’t be stopping and went on your way?Did whatever you saw remain in your mind for long?Did you think about it before you switched off the lights that night?.Was it the first thing you thought of when you woke up the following morning?Only if you really liked or hated what you saw would it be with you like that.

I saw  something that has decided to make my heart its abode.I have tried to sweep it out,but at night when sleep fails me it comes back and sits on the couch in my heart and decides to watch t.v.When i wake up,it makes itself breakfast in my poor  heart and stays there all day.Its leechy and stubborn.I often think it is sojourning to some place else,and wait for it to bid me farewell and move out leaving me a thank you note for letting it stay in my heart but it just wont go.

The visitor is a feeling.It has been living with me for months now.Its is a beautiful calming feeling.If it was a car it would be a white range rover evoque,its power train would be a 2.0-liter, direct-injection turbo four from Ford that would send 240 horsepower to the wheels via a six-speed automatic.*don’t worry,i googled that,impressive huh?* This feeling is breathtaking,it makes me light headed.It makes me think of crazy things*like baby names*.It makes me listen to mushy slow songs.It makes me want to be a better person.Its confusing too,it makes my future uncertain for a bit,it  makes me vulnerable,it makes me feel like a sissy.I love to hate it,but i cant.It has taken my appetite for food and replaced it with pictures of white lilies.It has held me in captivity becoming a frenemy.

If one would choose where to place their feelings,id take out this one,put it a box lock it and throw away the key.Because as beautiful as it is, its beauty can only be  fully realized when it is shared between two people.You know if the other party reciprocated this feeling id probably screw things up,therefore,I am not letting it out,ill let  it continue to make me giddy,to make me tear up when i listen to Air supply out of love,to make me smile when am alone,to re-read texts the following day over analyzing them,trying to decipher if there is even a tiny bit of something from the other party.

P/s i do realize how all of this sounds-wimpy,emo  vague and all but that had to get out.

32 thoughts on “Matters Of The Heart…and more

  1. wel wel wel dont knw if to laugh at u or feel sorry! all it takes is jst a min~15 in ur case~to walk upto this fortunate dude nd lay ur heart bear nd al this wil be ova with! nd btw does he read ur blog? thought google had a solution 4 such stuff to:-)) all the best nd nice writeup.

    • He reads it alright but i haven’t seen his comments for some time now.It sounds easy marching up to hi and telling it all but what if…he might not be ready,i may not be his type…etc
      Thanks for reading.

  2. O, you poor thing 🙂 Stop analyzing stuff and do something. I bet you 9 out of 10 chances, he likes you!
    Beautiful piece. Just beautiful!

    Ps: I hardly ever lose on a bet. Hehe…

  3. O, you poor thing 🙂 Stop analyzing stuff and do something. I bet you 9 out of 10 chances, that he likes you too!
    Beautiful piece. Just beautiful!

    Ps: I hardly ever lose when I make a bet. Hehe…

  4. Never? For real? Aich. Lucky, but sooner or later luck runs out. Yours is out. Roller coaster. I will be waiting on the other side of the line to admire the spring aftermath. Hehehehe…

      • Advice from a non believer like me should probably be ignored immediately. But I dare give it anyway. Never ever, ever, ever tell a guy you got butterflies if you don’t think he does. And even when you think he does, it is probably safer to let him bring up his issues first. [Disclaimer: I am not a qualified counselor].

  5. Air supply? Wow. Then it is a good thing that you let out this “visitor.” At least now you can taste the chapos and coffee tastes like it should. Good luck 🙂

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