So last week  I told you how am thinking about buying a car ata kama ni probox?Well its now more than ever top on my priority list.Read and find out why.

Sunday the 14th,we went for christian meetings and afterwards,i went home changed and started my journey to another county for work.The trip to Limuru was marked by no incidences,the trip to Tigoni though,was drama galore.I got in a mat,hapa nyuma ya driver,and joined two more people a lady and a man,another person joined us,as the mat can not leave the stage without at least 20 people in it and that’s a rule.He was dead drunk,here is what you don’t know about me,my list of scary things starts with drunk people,mad people,heights,barking dogs and escalators,and don’t even ask why its on my list,i can never climb that thing,Ill take the stairs,or the elevator any day.So you can imagine my horror when the drunk idiot decided to use my shoulder as a pillow,i was horrified,i kept asking the tout to tell him not to lalia me.My complaints were heard,he was asked for fare and he didn’t have a penny  on him so he was thrown out,and i thought i could breath easy oh but how wrong I was.Another guy got in, i did not pay him any attention,till his hands started roaming on my thighs,at first i thought it was a mistake,then he decided to get more bolder and was now doing it openly pushing my skirt up to get his hands more room.Pervert,i thought.I asked him nicely without embarrassing him to kindly stop touching me, while pulling my skirt down,he wouldn’t stop,i forcefully moved his hand but he put it back, i have been known to have a temper shorter than Kevin Hart i got pissed off,so i loudly asked him to keep his hands to himself.Everybody in the mat heard that and he did not  like it.He started hurling insults at me,asking me kama gari ni yangu never missing a chance to call me out of my name ,i did not want to get in to a confrontation with him so i kept quite trying to calm my boiling rage down but he would not stop,obviously embarrassed. His  ego was scathed,maybe he had touched other people and gotten away with it,or he was just a bully and a pervert. Anyway,i was alighting at the next  stop so i let him make an ass out of himself.

The mat stopped and as he got off to make way for me,he asked the tout for his change saying he had changed his mind and wanted to go to the hospital even though he had said earlier he was going to Banana.My fear detector went up,i felt alarms blaring in my head.he crossed the road with him ahead of me,at no point was i going to let the moron be behind me,if he was gonna jump me,i thought it was only fair he be in front of me.

The parking lot was dark and deserted,which was weird as there is always a security guard at the gate and there is a huge security lamp near the pediatrics ward which lights up the parking area all the way to the gate.There is a small trailer kiosk near the gate,the pervert went stood in front of it.I was trembling,i wished i could turn back time and go take self defense classes,i wished i had pepper spray.I said a silent prayer and walked on.When i got to the kiosk,he jumped me,i wasn’t surprised i was anticipating it,he grabbed my wrist and twisted it roughly.He started asking me stupid annoying questions  like,nani ulikua una aibisha?unajua niko na kisu?I was getting pissed at his empty threats,if he had a knife he would have been brandishing it in my face,if he wanted to stab me he would have done it without asking me for my permission.I wanted to scream,but i knew no one would hear me,plus i don’t know how to scream 😀

He saw how calm i was *even if my heart was racing* and grabbed my top,he pulled me closer to him,bringing me in to his sour stinky breath.I was not having it i was fighting him trying desperately to free my self from  his clutch,in the process ,my hand bag fell scattering all of  its contents on the ground..He was still talking crazy telling me how he would make me call him daddy,in other circumstances i would have been rolling on the ground laughing,Call who daddy?

The guy was a few inches shorter than me,and skinny.”I am not big for nothing”,i thought to myself,”if i am going to get attacked,let it be by a Goliath”.I summoned up all of my courage and spat square on his eyes,with all of my strength i aimed at his groin with my knee,i missed and instead kicked his stomach,that was no soft kick,He sprawled on the ground screaming and groaning at me while i added a few kicks to his ribs.I picked my bag,shoved its contents in and ran like hell.When i got to the corridor,i found the security guards there chatting busily in Kisii,i was so mad at them,i yelled at them and told them how i could have been killed while they were busy gossiping.They went to the gate and the moron was gone.

I was shaking.It suddenly got colder.I will never look at short people the same way ever,they have egos bigger than The Rocks biceps.That guy was not going to assault me sexually,he wanted to beat me up for humiliating him and calling him out on his perversion.Well he never got that chance,wherever he is at he is nursing more than his stupid ego 😀

When you find yourself in such a situation,you shock yourself too,i have never hit anyone or spat ON/IN/AT anyone’s eyes,i don’t know where that came from.In view of that,i am  now super serious about a car.Meanwhile anyone who knows a place i can get a can of pepper spray,i will be more than happy to get it.

Next time a moron follows me to the parking lot,they will never find his body!


Rain and Loudmouths

That is it!I have had it with matatus.I just got to work,rained on like a rag in a bucket,shivering,and with my ruined hair in tow.I had an alright day,I took off my braids,washed my hair,had a good meal after surviving for two days on on two oranges,sugarless coffee and a chapo,and no,am not on a diet,its called having too much to do in too little time.So I left home looking forward to a cool night at work,i get in a matatu,and I am not making this up but i think all Limuru drivers trained at  Wa Jimmy driving school.Even i who cant tell a clutch from a gear can make a better driver.They are lunatics,mavericks in their road unworthy javs. They  stop at  stages  that do not exist to drop and pick  passengers, and even though they are forever  packed, they is always room for two or three people.nkt.They all have a thing for Mbussi alafu,i don’t get him half the time!

Today,i was fortunate my neighbor was not breathing down my neck craning his own neck desperately reading my texts,It was a lady who decided to start separating and sorting  her shopping while elbowing me all through,definitely not  what i signed up for but no,am not complaining,yet.Somewhere near Limuru it started  raining and the lady wanted to alight,so i had to alight first and make way for,”dear lady,take as much time as you need to come out,no i don’t mind getting wet,si after this am coming to your house for a change of clothes?”I was LIVID!! How do you take six whole minutes to alight from a mat?Were you by any chance sitting in the upper Decker?Who does that?Anyway that is how i got wet first.

After that episode i did not expect any more drama.A guy got in and sat next to the driver and he was a such a loud mouth,no i do not have issues,in fact i do not mind loud mouths i find some of them funny but this particular one was just annoying.He wouldn’t just shut up!He kept a constant chatter,feeling the need to let the whole mat  know about his day and stuff like that.We were now on the fly over a few minutes to limuru,a lady was frantically waving trying to stop the mat flaring her hands all over,for a moment i took pity on her as she stood there in the rain as  the harsh bright headlights glared on her face.

She begged the conductor to help her,she had luggage lying under the bridge and was willing to pay any amount of money,the driver was not hearing any of it,for starters it was raining heavily and  it meant going back and under the bridge,annoying,yes?The loud mouth next to the driver pleaded with the driver telling him to imagine she was his mother bla bla bla.I thought,kwisha! she is a kidnapper under false pretenses-too many movies. Well,two minutes later we were under the bridge,the mama did not have luggage,she had loads and loads of everything that grows in Kinungi,a gunia of waru,three more of carrots,peas and cabbages.The mat had three passengers,the loud mouth,some guy and me.The kange implored us to alight and help load the gunias in the mat,keep in mind that the torrential rain was pounding furiously. I really wanted to act like a brat but no,if we were gonna get to limuru in time i  just had to get out and help.So there we were in the mud and mad rain,hurdling the loads of baggage in the mat,ten minutes later we were done,rained on,full of mad and with a loud mouth who was feeling really proud of himself.He changed seats and sat behind me,next to the lady we had ALL just helped.In hushed tones,he shamelessly asked the lady for payment claiming that  he had played a really big part in scoring her stuff seats.He squeezed thirty bob from the lady,who was not very excited about that.Can you believe that moron?

That is how i got to limuru,the ride to Tigoni was a little uneventful so nothing to say about it.But that was too much drama for one night,i think i might have picked a cold in all that  rain,na sio kujipenda.On the real though,am saving for a car ata kama ni probox, I cant deal with that every day of the week.