Remotes And Bathrooms.

When we  were young,my mum used to beat us up if we became unruly.I remember one time my brother was given the beating of his life mpaka he ran away from home and went to my grandmas to his chagrin however he was brought home at night and given “something to cry about”.I used to fear the cane,and stayed away from drama,for most of the time.The cane however ruined my brother,he became immune to pain,he would literary poke his fingers into mother nose,he became rebellious. Rather that the cane instilling discipline in him,it made him more hard headed.Seeing how he turned out,i vowed to never lift a hand at my future kids,when i became my younger brothers mother following my mothers demise however things changed.I came to a cross road,to cane him or not.

He is generally a cool kid.He listens, and if my sister or  I tell him that something is wrong and should not be repeated,he turns over a new leaf.You will not have the same conversation about something twice.He is becoming a responsible one too,he clears the table after  meals,he makes his bed,washes some of his clothes and  helps with easy chores around the house.When he went to class four,he became friends with a boy i did not exactly approve of.He is the kind of kid who looks wiser than his years.He always has something to say,he knows everything which is a little odd for a kid his age.One time i came home from work and met wit my little brother at the gate going to the shops to buy biscuits clutching on a two hundred shillings note,I do not leave that kind of money in the house he told me it was his friends money,i told him to return it,we get to the house,and the kid is lying on the couch remote in hand flipping channels like he owns the place.I was lost for word,i politely asked him to leave and told my brother i did not want to ever find him there.I did not hear of him for some time,then during the holidays,my brother wanted to go and take his bike to where they put pressure in the wheel(i don’t know if that is what i should have said there,but si una elewa?)Normally,i give him thirty bob and its  enough.I did not have loose money so i gave him a two sohk and told him to come back with the change.He comes home with nothing and tells me the bike had to many punctures and it cost him the whole amount.I trust him, i have never had a money incidence with him so i do not really question him..I go outside later and the bike is even in a worse state than it was before!It turned out that his friend  told him they split the money and lie to me.I let him off with a stern warning. I was so tempted to cane him.Forgive me but i started  to really hate that kid(the friend) he was too fast, too sly, such a smooth talker and lies with a straight face.

We have not had any other incidences till yesterday.I had a long day,my head hurt,my braids were too tight,and the day was so slow.I could not wait to get home and just lie down.I get home,shower and lie on the couch,watch news after that i decide to watch an episode of flash point before retiring to bed.I have one of those silly japan  china DVD players that cannot function without a remote control.I try locating it but cannot find it,i remember that i found a  Ben ten CD on the player so my bro must have had it.I ask him where it is and he goes pale,he rushes to the bedroom and comes with his school bag and proceeds to unpack,he tells me he must have put it there by mistake but it is not there.He searches under the seats,on his bed everywhere but no joy.My annoyance is beginning to take the better part of me.I am raising my voice,he is panicking.I ask him who he was with earlier and its the same boy i banned from my house.I get mad.This is the first time he has shown such unrelenting behavior!I ask him to call his friend, relax he lives one compound from ours.Ten minutes later and he still hasn’t come back my sister points out that pengine he got scared and he is hanging outside .I decide to go look for him.I go outside the gate hoping to find him there but i don’t. I go to the next compound and realize i don’t even know what the boys house number is.I decide to go look outside the houses,hoping to find my brothers shoes.I do the first block and realize how crazy that is,I leave.I meet with my brother outside our gate .

”Unatoka wapi?Si kwa kina Kevo ni na huku?” I ask in a voice i almost don’t recognize.

“Walihama,”, he answers.

“Ako wapi?”

“Amesema ni angalie kwa bafu” he replies in a small voice.

“Ati ndani ya bafu?iki fanya nini huko?mlikua mnai osha?” i ask walking towards the house.

True to his word,the remote is in the bathroom in the glass we put toothbrushes, disemboweled.I shoot him a murderous look and he jumps to his defense,it was Kevo–again!Ah-ah,,this stops today! Before i cane him out of anger,i have to explain to him why  i am doing it i ask him to bring an appropriate “weapon”.He brings a mwiko,trembling.I remind him of the times i have told him not to roll with that Kevo character,making sure i put emphasis to the damage he has done.When am done he tearfully tells me to forgive him for the mara ya mwisho.He assures me,i wont hear of him again.I decide to let him off the hook but he cannot watch t.v till i say so!

Ican see remorse in his eyes.That is as close as i came to whooping his behind!Do you think i should have?leave me a comment.


My Kind Of Love

Today is exactly ten  years since this life changing event took place in our lives.It was a cold Sunday afternoon we were waiting for lunch , playing volleyball outside our gate,my brothers and I.She called me and  asked me to call a neighbour friend of hers,she was unwell.I was shocked,she was fine all morning,she had skipped church though which was unlike her.She was taken to a hospital about five miles from home.She asked my big brother to finish preparing lunch.Our moods changes from happy and playful to somber. He made lunch but nobody touched it.That night we could not sleep,we were worried sick.The neighbor who had taken her to the hospital came and told us that she had been admitted but she would discharged in a day or two.My brother who was in form three at the time wanted to skip school the following day and go see her but he was informed that mum did not want to be seen as she would be home soon.

Two days later she came home.My brothers were in their houses which were outside the main house,she asked me to call them.A baby wrapped in a blue baby blanket was on the bed,it looked so tiny,viciously sucking on its thumb.

“Guys,this is our baby.He is called Moses.”,my mother said.

My big brother just laughed,call us dumb but none of us had knowledge of a pregnancy,she had traveled alot those past few months,and had carefully kept it from us.We were genuinely shocked,my brothers left the room leaving me and mum to stare and fuss about him.He was so tiny and all pink.My mum asked me to go to bed as the following day i was going to school.

The weeks that followed saw to it that my mum was plunged into post postpartum depression,or baby blues characterized with sever headaches and migraines,she was having a hard time breastfeeding.The baby would cry all night through,and i would hold him as my mum nursed her migraines.She taught me how to feed him-grip water,how to change his nappy ,what position to lay him on,how to wrap him,bathe him and how to soothe him  to sleep.

He became the latest addition in our family and a great fascination,we were overjoyed to have him,Eventually my mother got better,and when he was three months old my mother had to go back to work.During the August holidays,all of us chipped in to take care of him.He was growing fast.He had come to a family where the youngest was  nine at the time,my brother and i were  thirteen and my big brother was seventeen.He was truly loved,and he fought for his identity and place in the family.

He had just learnt how to call “mum” when she was brutally murdered.He would never know her or get to feel her love.He would never relate when other kids at the kindergarten talked about their mothers.He had never known his father.It was as if fate hated him.Even so,he showed a defiance and some kind of determination.He fought his way to stay alive.My maternal instincts kicked in and i tried to take on the gap my mother had left.It was hard.Those  shoes were a little too big for a fifteen year old,who mind you was in school at the time.I was determined to make him feel loved and even if i could not be what my mother had been to him,i was going to do  all i could.

He was a very withdrawn child,he hardly played with other children..I love him fiercely,like he is mine,which by the way if you ask him he will tell you his name is Ian Njoki.
I have watched him grow,I saw him fight the teething battle, take his first steps,took him to school where he wailed and clung to my dress scared, start primary school,I tried but failed to teach him how to ride a bike but he rides it anyway.I tried but failed while trying to tie his first tie,i cannot be all sorts of things to him but i know i am doing my best for him.It has not been easy raising him,i know the worst is yet to come when he hits teenage-hood and changes,but I know he will turn out just fine.I know he will be a nice gentleman.I have no room for anything less.
That, people,is my kind of love.Very fierce,genuine, kind,patient through his every day steps and one that will never fail.

The Pharisee and Other Thoughts

This post is pretty much about bitching and hating or as my girl Nancie roxx calls it, constructive criticism.So if you have a problem with that I suggest you take your leave,they wont be no happy thoughts or sunshine here.Its all cold. dark and gloomy literally and symbolically.First of all, I gotta hate on my next door neighbor now I think its important I let you know my home situation,I am the kind of neighbor who everyone thinks is a snob,and rightly so.I mind my own business.I run a pretty busy life,full of activities so i have absolutely no time to play house and act all nice and stuff,plus my best friend and her family live a few houses from ours so that’s all the neighbor I need.Now my next door neighbor is a guy,who looks okay and sane to me.He chips fungas occasionally,or malenge funga as my sister likes referring to his chipos but that is his darn business.The partition that separates our houses is kinda tricky so if i decide to turn the volume knob of my system up l will interrupt with his comfort and sleep,so we keep it average,and he does the same for most of the time.Last night though was a different story though.I think he went to church and decided to give his life to Christ a decision I would applaud as it might go a long way to saving him a few trips to the doctor who treats claps and diseases that come from too many a chipos. Thing is he decided he wanted to repent and pray so loudly,as if that was not enough noise he decided he needed motivation so he put on some loud worship songs and would pray like he is in church,Keep in mind that it was way past eleven.At that moment i wished i knew some NEMA guys That dear reader as you can imagine did not sit well with me,as i could not sleep!I was to wake up early and get ready to work,i therefore needed my sleep,lets just say he finished talking to God at around 1.30 am and there was no for interrupting as whatever he was telling God could not wait. That explains up my current mood and exhaustiveness.
Moving on,next item on my agenda. Without naming names I have to say this,do not ever do things for people expecting them to do the same to you.Do not think for a second people will respect you for being nice,some will but the bigger percentage will not.And if you are in the habit of mistaking peoples kindness for weakness, there is a special place in hell just for you.Keep your promises and be an adult,let your yes mean yes and no mean no.
Agenda number three,if you are in your twenties do everything you want to and desire to before you hit mid life crises and start doing stuff that is just not cute.Case and point,last week a friend of mine,my sister  and I were kicking it at my house doing what we do when we get together,id like to say drink wine and sound bad ass but no,we drink tea and buns and sometimes make a salad,we watch a movie then afterwards rip off the cast,the plot the production and basically the entire movie.But on the day in question,we were watching RNB music videos.We came up with the following conclusions and if some one you like is affected our bad.Usher and Tyrese have hit mid life crises hard and serious,we get that sex sells but lately all we ever seem to hear from Usher is making love,climaxing and videos involving bondage and slavery if that is not menopause in men i don’t know what is.Tyrese and Ludacris are singing about bitches and bottles and clubs,if that came from Trey Songs,Chris brown or for the sake of saying Bieber it would havebeen a little acceptable but this are grown ass men, haven’t they been they and done that?Ne-yo needs to tone down the gay too,red shoes are not acceptable on men,unless that man is i don’t know Nick Mutuma?That said,do you when you can there is nothing worse than doing things when you are in your thirties that you should have done earlier,when time has passed you.To tell you the truth am sticking to my Breaking Benjamin 30 seconds to mars,flyleaf,paramore,skillet slipknot and the rest these RNB guys are becoming too freaking much.
Am taking a short course that is just a throne in my flesh,keep in mind that the last time i studied for an exam was over two years ago so yeah.There are no definite seasons here in Africa but you best believe its already winter in Limuru. My fingers are numb,no amount of coffee, tea and jackets can redeem us!
Am out though.Someone or something was gonna be the reason of this post but no, i really needed to blow off some steam,if you are offended am sorry but i will not apologize for the opinions i have on things you are entitled to yours too.Before i go,i gotta say this,if you are in the university or have been and you went  those philosophy classes i hear they teach there,i would respect you a whole lot more if your opinions especially on God were not instilled by some professor but from your own critical thing!
Enjoy the rest of your week and pray for us in diaspora we don’t  die from the cold in this place.