Friends are for forever.That is what Phoebe thinks when she meets Dan through a friend at a party.They instantly hit off,he has a good kind heart.He is funny and very charismatic.She is charmed,she knows that  all she needs and wants from him is friendship.At the party,no one can tell that they have just met,they are talking,sharing tidbits about their various lives.He says he  works  for an IT company in Nairobi,she is a pharmacist  working in a government hospital outside Nairobi,with her own part time private practice in town.She has a kid from a previous relationship.He has a baby mama.He drives a Fielder,she drives an Impreza. Their banter continues over drinks,he is drinking vodka,dry.She is drinking  gin and tonic.They hardly notice how time has flown,the friend who introduced them alerts them that its time to leave.They swap contacts and decide to keep in contact.

Two nights later the duo meet over dinner.Theirs is a fast growing friendship.They are both very intelligent people They agree on some things,they don’t on others,like religion and politics.They however get past that and form a very meaningful friendship.The next five months see the birth and growth of this platonic relationship.They hang out at every opportunity.They talk about everything,he knows her deepest secrets and she knows his.They run to each other when they have issues, their  families have met.He gets along just  fine with her siblings,her mother and even her son.She does too with his entire clan. Their kids are friends,they even have a play day,every Sunday afternoon which conveniently offers Dan and Phoebe a chance to hang out.Over time their differences are almost dissolved,he is even open to exploring her faith and she has become accommodative to his political views and opinions.They have a pretty awesome friendship,they are even closer with each other than with the friend who introduced them.

Fast forward six months later and things progressively  change,they slowly begin falling out.All of a sudden she finds him boring,he finds her petty.He thinks she needs to learn how to let go of stuff,she thinks he needs to stop being a moron.They pick fights with each other from nothing to something.He hates her guts,she hates his non-willingness  to commitment to anything His opinions on politics are suddenly too radical for her liking,her faith is blind and dumb for him.They start hanging out less,they hardly call or text each other because when they do,a fight erupts.They have become like an old married couple,fighting  and bickering about everything and nothing.

She reminiscences about their good times and takes a step to restore this friendship.She still cares about him.They meet over lunch,they decide that they have been stupid and selfish and decide to give things a try,A month later their are back to where they were before the meeting.She can see the hate in his eyes,he can see the disgust in hers.

Their folks start noticing the disconnect but there is nothing they can do to help.Their pride,ego,needs and selfish ways come first to both of them.He blames her,and her him.Two people who started as the best friends have become each others worst enemies.

Which leads to my question,is it possible for a man and a woman to be just friends?

28 thoughts on “THE DIVIDE

  1. This one got me thinking a bit. My 2 cents: Feelings will always come & get involved and the peoples’ reaction to these feelings determines if they remain friends or become enemies.

    In this case, if they were really friends, romantic feelings developed at least on one side, but since one or both of them was not willing to broach the subject, it was easy for them to fall out. None of them has a reason to save the friendship.
    An alternative scenario is, something that indulged their feelings for each other happened or almost happened between the two that precipitated their fallout.
    Another scenario, they had other relationships that made them jealous of each other and therefore had no reason to keep the friendship.

  2. I have noted one thing with Platonic relationships, the successful ones those where the two of you have grown up together and you are now like brothers and sisters having seen the good, bad and ugly in each other’s life. When you meet a stranger when you are grown up, satisfaction will always win because curiosity killed the platonic bonds. #mythoughts

  3. Just friends??? Not possible!! One might be content with just friendship but never the both of them. One will always develop feelings!!

  4. yes it is very much possible….my best friend whom i met at campus in first year is a guy….sure we have disagreements and our opinions differ, but i think our differences brings us closer rather than create a drift. and yes, at one point, one or both of us might have thought of it being more than friendship but we talked it over and without him, life wouldn’t be the same.

  5. Wow! I took time on this one.
    It is possible for platonic friendships to exist. They only cease when things start getting complicated or over-analysed.
    Nice article 🙂

  6. Decades later, i reply.. i absolutely dont believe it’s possible for a man and a woman to be just friends.. sooner or later one of them is going to get emotionally attached and push away the other. In other words, we call it friendzoning. Once you’re in it, you rarely get out.

  7. What I think: friendship is less about looking into each other and more about looking out to the world together. When two people are enjoying living their individual lives, being themselves, things are usually just fine. Until they start trying to invade the other person’s space. When the focus turns from stuff people can do in life out there, to stuff people must do together, or worse stuff they must do for each other…kwisha.

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